Mother Is Helping Drug Addict?
Question by College Girl: Mother is helping Drug Addict?
Quick rundown…dated a guy for one year, in that year he lived in my parent’s house for four months, parents fed him, gave him whatever he needed, took him out to dinner endless times (he never offered to pay) ..found out he was doing heroin the entire year of dating…stole from my mother, father, and myself (stole everything from cash to credit card info to my horse FEED!) found out all of the stealing 1 day after I broke up with him….it has been two months and just found out my mother has been helping him, putting him in a hotel, buying him dinner, buying him cigarettes, etc…I AM FURIOUS …I am ignoring her, but not sure what I should do, I feel very betrayed because she knows I HATE him with a passion and I want nothing but him to suffer (and she should obviously hate him too…he owes her and my dad around $ 3K!!!) His own mother will not help him because he has burned that bridge endless times over…What would you do????? thanks for answers I am at a loss and need advice My mom and I are best friends, very hard to be ignoring her
Best answer:
Answer by miss.alocin
Do you hate him for who he is or for what he has done to you and your family?
It’s true, what he is done is not in any way acceptable. It shouldn’t be condoned and it shouldn’t be encouraged. But… he is an addict. Unless you have ever had any experience with addicts or addiction yourself you could never understand the kind of world they live in and the lengths that they can & will go to, to feed their habit. Being a habit doesn’t mean the person is bad. It does mean they can do bad things.
It sounds to me like your Mum has a good deal of compassion and feels the need to try to help/save/fix him… while I wholeheartedly encourage supporting an addict in their recovery, supporting an addictions habit is a no no. I am sure your Mum means well but essentially she is making it easy for him to do that which he craves. She would be better placed to withdraw the kind of support she is currently giving him (which in fact is not actually helping him at all) and offer him her support should he chose to get help for his addiction.
You need to talk to your Mum about your concerns but hear her out too.
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